


alive enough to love again

by mullethyuck



Series: love is dead [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (sort of), Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Internal Conflict, Language Barrier, Light Angst, M/M, Major Character Undeath, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Non-Graphic Violence, Not What It Looks Like, Swearing, if you consider a general frustration at the state of your existence angsty, it's not that bad ok it's mostly yukmin being idiots, jaemin does try to kill yukhei though but only once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 06:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18845086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mullethyuck/pseuds/mullethyuck
Summary: The zombie apocalypse fucking sucks.





	alive enough to love again

**Author's Note:**

> ok well i'm working on a longer fic but i wanted to do a little something in the meantime because it's been a hot minute since i last posted...and i've been in my yukmin feels lately so i word vomited this over the course of a few days lmao
> 
> honestly i just wrote this because i love the movie warm bodies and also [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHqSswuCy1Y) song came on my shuffle and it inspired me so i just had to
> 
> anyway i love [steph](https://twitter.com/scoups_of_heony) and [raina](https://twitter.com/calicoline) with my whole heart for being the sweetest friends/betas ever as always!!

The zombie apocalypse fucking sucks. Or more specifically, being a zombie fucking sucks.

First of all, it's absolutely maddening that Yukhei is unable to communicate with anyone or anything outside of making a few grunts and other indiscernible noises in the back of his throat. It’s horrible, and lonely, especially since Yukhei had been so social when he was alive; he'd always tried his best to be everyone’s friend, to make everyone feel appreciated. And he still does, but it doesn't work out like it used to.

Equally frustrating is the fact that he can't move faster than a lopsided stroll, which is partially because his left leg is all but deteriorated, but also just because his muscles are decayed in general. His pace is leisurely at best, a downright snail’s pace at worst, and he kind of feels like one of those old ladies who used to walk the mall back when malls were still a thing, because as much as he tries to speed up he's lucky if he even gets anywhere close to a power walk. He used to have so much energy when he was alive, and he was constantly moving. Now he just feels restless all the time.

There are tons of other reasons that being a zombie is the literal worst; his clothes smell like a dumpster, he looks (and feels) like he got hit by a train, he doesn't remember what the fuck he was doing in the airport when he got bitten, his teeth always have bits of flesh stuck in them that leave a gross metallic taste in his mouth - and oh yeah, the fact that he eats people now is also a really upsetting fact of life. Or, fact of death? Whatever, the point is that eating people violates Yukhei’s personal morals on a number of levels. He always blacks out when he does it though, and he isn't sure if that's a zombie thing or just his undead brain’s last ditch effort at coping with what he's become. Either way, he's glad it happens. It's not like he has anyone to talk to about this shit, so he'd rather just block it from his mind entirely.

There's also the fact that he sleeps in the cockpit of a plane, which is uncomfortable to say the least. He thinks it's totally asinine that he has to sleep at all considering he's dead, but this whole zombie thing isn't all that logical to begin with, so he rolls with it. Sometimes he lets this other guy (whose name he has no way of knowing, but he's started calling him Hendery in his head just for the sake of having something to call him) crash in the other pilot’s seat, because somehow they've formed a bond of sorts and it does help to have someone there even if they can't actually interact all that much. He appreciates the company, because contrary to popular belief, the apocalypse is scary for zombies, too. Like, sure, humans have to worry about getting their organs eaten, but Yukhei lives every day terrified of getting shot for eating said organs. It's not exactly the same thing, but still. It's terrifying, okay? He may be dead, but he doesn't want to die _again_. That's just unfair.

So it’s only natural they would travel in groups when they hunt. They don't go into the city every day, because there's no reason to if they aren't hungry, but every now and then Hendery will wake up and look at Yukhei from his side of the cockpit and say one of the few words they can still manage to pronounce: “Eat.” Yukhei just nods, because they've done this a million times and there's nothing else to say about it, really. He thinks Hendery doesn't like to dwell on what exactly it is they're about to do, either, but that might just be him projecting his own existential crisis onto the only other person he has regular contact with. Well, maybe “person” is a bit of an exaggeration, but Yukhei likes to think they aren't totally subhuman.

For one thing, they're organized. After shuffling from the tarmac to the hub of the airport, Yukhei and Hendery find other hungry zombies and follow them out the front doors once they have enough members in their group to feel safe, but not too many to attract a lot of attention. They trudge through the parking lot, slowly making their way toward the highway that will bring them to civilization (or what's left of it). Today they're led by some guy named Kun, which Yukhei only knows because he’s seen the guy has a monogrammed watch with his full name on it. It's a Rolex, too. He must've been fucking loaded before the world went to shit. Maybe that's why he's so good at getting people to listen to him, even though nobody knows what the hell he’s trying to say because he can only get one syllable out at most. Eventually he gives up, or maybe he thinks he's gotten his point across, but either way he just jerks his head in the direction of the city and says, “Go.”

And well, they can all understand _that_. They speed up, which isn't saying much because they're still moving at the pace of an 80 year old woman with a bad hip and two knee replacements, but it's progress. Very slight progress, but they'll take it. Plus it's not like they have anything else to do, considering the state of the world and all. They can take their time.

Literal hours later (three hours to be exact, according to Kun’s watch), they reach the edge of the city. There's a huge section of buildings enclosed by a giant concrete wall just a couple blocks away, but they don't dare go any closer to it. That's where the humans live, so it's where zombies go to die. But they do need humans to eat, so they hover around the outskirts of the camp, hoping to find some stragglers.

They wander aimlessly, milling around in an old gas station before moving on to what Yukhei thinks used to be a cafe of some sort. They find a record store, and Yukhei is so tempted to snag a record player and some vinyls, but he wouldn't be able to carry that while he's hunting. He'll have to come back to that later. Eventually, they collectively stumble into a pharmacy, which just so happens to be a buffet, because there's a group of five humans digging through the old prescription bottles. Jackpot.

“Eat,” Kun says, which is all the prompting they need. Weirdly enough, they can move at a decent speed when food is involved, which probably has something to do with the fact their survival depends on it but Yukhei really wishes they could move this fast all the time. But hey, he'll take what he can get.

What he can get, it turns out, is a middle aged man who’s a lot chewier than he looks, but it's fine. It's definitely not the worst meal Yukhei’s ever had, and he’s sure he'll have worse in the future. It fills him up, at least. This guy is _big_ , damn.

He has to eat everything, though, or the guy will turn into a zombie. And yeah, dying isn't ideal, but Yukhei knows for a fact that he's doing this guy a favour by eating his brain so he stays good and dead. He doesn't know what death feels like, but being undead is shit, and Yukhei wouldn't wish it on anybody.

He’s more or less used to the chaos that surrounds his meals by now - the constant ricochet of bullets, the garbled screams of the dying, the low moans of the already undead. It's white noise, background music to his fine dining. He can't let himself focus on it or he'll think about what exactly he's doing, and that's not going to happen as long as Yukhei has any say in the matter.

But once he's done, wiping his face with the rotten sleeve of his hoodie, smearing the blood and bile across his cheek in the process, he stands up and sees _him_ across the room from over a medicine cabinet. Yukhei doesn't know who he is, but he's cocking his gun and shooting some girl in the face and oh _wow_ is that kick he just landed hot. And to be fair, Yukhei’s seen his fair share of humans firing weapons, considering it’s their knee jerk reaction to spotting zombies, but something about the way the guy moves has Yukhei feeling like his heart would be beating a mile a minute, if it still beat at all.

Yukhei just stands there like a dumbass, totally in a trance as he watches the guy’s eyes sparkle in the light of a distress flare being fired, flipping his pink-tipped hair out of his eyes as he lines up his next shot. And, oh fuck, he's pointing his gun at Yukhei. A second later there's a shot, and Yukhei feels something make impact with the middle of his chest. He looks down, rips the bullet out, and drops it. Doesn't this guy know to aim for the head? Yukhei looks up, meets his eyes, and walks toward him.

Apparently he's out of bullets, because this time he does try to shoot Yukhei in the face, but nothing happens. He sinks to the floor, crying, since he's the last one alive and probably traumatized as fuck (though in all honesty, Yukhei would be willing to bet that ship sailed a long time ago). Yukhei kneels down in front of him, staring, willing his mouth to say literally anything. It doesn't work. He just crouches there, breathing heavily like a weirdo.

“Eat,” someone says, and Yukhei can hear them sniffing the air, trying to track the only human they haven't killed yet. They have an unspoken code, of sorts; never leave any survivors. Yukhei doesn't know why, but it's probably more instinctual compulsion rather than an actual rule.

And call him crazy, but Yukhei really doesn't want this guy to get his brain eaten. He's way too pretty for that.

 _Just trust me_ , he tries to say, but it just sounds like he's choking on his own spit. Which, actually, maybe he is. Choking, that is. That guy was really chewy, he definitely still has some pieces stuck in his throat.

Pretty boy doesn't understand, obviously, but Yukhei ignores that because there isn't anything he can do about it anyway. He lifts his right hand, which is still slick with bodily fluids from his meal, and drags it down pretty boy’s face. He also ignores the gagging noise pretty boy makes, holding a finger up to his lips in the universal sign for “shut the fuck up.”

Pretty boy gets the message, but he still looks like he's two seconds away from bolting, which would be an incredibly stupid thing to do, given the circumstances. Yukhei thinks pretty boy knows that, and it's probably what's keeping him glued to his spot on the floor. That is, till Yukhei stands up and stretches an arm out to him. He can hear the frantic searching of the other zombies, sniffing and checking each body one by one. Yukhei tries to wiggle his fingers, but it ends up in more of a spasm of his hand. “Safe,” he manages to choke out in a sad attempt at clarification.

“What?” pretty boy says incredulously, and understandably so. But Yukhei doesn't have time for this right now, so he just pulls pretty boy up by the forearm and drags him along as he walks toward Kun, Hendery, and the others.

Hendery narrows his eyes at Yukhei, and Kun smells pretty boy about fifteen times before he finally shakes his head and says, “Go.” And even though he's dead, Kun has an air about him that laces anything he says with finality, so no one argues. Though Hendery does give Yukhei a look he's never seen before, which is saying something because zombies are notorious for having a very limited range of facial expressions.

Pretty boy, however, does not, and Yukhei’s pretty sure he sees the entire spectrum of human emotion flash across his face in the span of ten seconds. Yukhei looks down at him, squeezing his arm in what he hopes is a reassuring way, but probably comes off more like a death grip. No pun intended. “Go,” he breathes into pretty boy’s ear, and pretty boy looks like he’s going to start crying again. Yukhei really hopes he doesn't, because zombies don't cry so that would be really hard to explain.

And, okay. The thing is, Yukhei knows he hasn't really thought this through. He knows it's a horrible idea, possibly the worst idea he's ever had besides becoming a zombie, and he doesn't have the slightest clue what he's going to do with pretty boy once they get back to the airport. Like yeah, Yukhei can protect him from the others, but for how long? And eventually pretty boy is gonna want to go home, and Yukhei isn't sure he can get him out as easily as he’s getting him in.

When they get back, they all split off and go their separate ways, and Yukhei is relieved to notice Hendery trailing off to do whatever the fuck it is he does when he’s by himself. Yukhei wraps his hand around pretty boy’s arm again, leading him to the plane that Yukhei calls home. He yanks the door open, waiting.

Pretty boy doesn't move. “I'm not going in there.” He folds his arms, and Yukhei grunts.

“Safe,” he says again, because he can't say, _Don't worry I'm not going to eat your brain or anything I just think you're cute_ , like he wants to.

Pretty boy cuts him a look. “Safe from them, maybe,” he says as he gestures vaguely to the entire airport, “but am I safe from you?”

Yukhei nods as enthusiastically as his stiff neck will allow. “Y-yes,” he chokes out.

Pretty boy cocks an eyebrow at him, but he gets in the plane. It's pretty empty, since Yukhei doesn't do much but sleep here, and also it's a fucking plane, but pretty boy explores it anyway. Yukhei notices he's procured a knife from god knows where, and he's holding it against his chest like a security blanket. Which is fair, but unnecessary.

After a minute, pretty boy comes back to the front of the plane where Yukhei is still standing and sizes him up. Yukhei can't read him at all, which is terrifying and exhilarating all at once. Yukhei really wishes he had a pulse, just so he could feel it race. But he doesn't, so he just stands there like an idiot because he was bad with cute boys even before he died.

And then pretty boy is pushing him up against the wall, thighs pinning his legs, hand holding his wrists against his chest like a vice, knife at his throat. Every inch of them is touching, and Yukhei is not ashamed to say this is the hottest thing that anyone’s ever done to him. It's absolutely tragic that he can't make his mouth form the words.

“If you touch me, I will kill you,” pretty boy says, and okay. That's a lot. Yukhei’s already useless brain is officially out of commission.

“I…I won't,” he says after nearly a minute of intense focus and embarrassing failed attempts. He raises his eyebrows at pretty boy, pulling his hands away slowly to lift them above his head. Pretty boy frowns at him, but he straps the knife back to his thigh, so that's a start.

He spins around, taking several huge steps back before he turns back to Yukhei, who stays plastered against the wall. “What the fuck are you?”

And there are a lot of ways Yukhei could answer that; the most obvious choices being _I'm not from here_ or _I’m scared of dying again_ or even _I’m just a dude who lives in a plane and eats people sometimes_ , but none of those options really seem fitting. So he settles on, “Yukhei,” which comes out relatively easily because he's practiced saying his own name over and over so he doesn't forget it like he's forgotten almost everything else.

“Yukhei?” pretty boy repeats. “That's your name?” Yukhei nods, and pretty boy kind of looks like he's malfunctioning. He paces, hands on his hips, before fiddling with the handle of his knife like it's a nervous habit. “I can't believe corpses have names.”

And Yukhei tends to be a pretty agreeable guy, but calling him a corpse is mildly offensive. He’s still alive, on some level, damn. “No.”

“No what? You're the only one with a name?”

“Not...not c-corpses.” Yukhei’s proud of himself for getting three whole syllables out. It's a new personal record.

Pretty boy looks unimpressed. “Okay, zombies then. Do all zombies have names?”

Pretty boy may be beautiful, but Yukhei's starting to think he's kind of a dumbass. _Of course they have names,_  he wants to say. _They were alive once._ But he can't, so he just nods. “You?” he half-grunts.

Pretty boy stops his pacing, turning to face Yukhei head-on. “I'm a human.” Yukhei actually growls at that, as much as he tries not to, but it only makes pretty boy smirk, the little shit. “My name’s Jaemin.”

 _Do something human, make him feel safe_ , Yukhei’s brain screams, so he sticks his hand out in Jaemin’s direction with way more velocity than he means to. Jaemin stares at his outstretched hand for a moment, then closes the distance and shakes it once, twice, three times, before dropping his own hand back to his side. Yukhei can't help but miss the warmth of his touch; zombies don't get cold, but being dead considerably lowers your body temperature, on average. Yukhei misses being warm. He misses feeling things in general, really. All he ever feels now is hunger.

Jaemin plops down into a first class seat, spinning his knife around in his right hand. “Why did you save me?”

Yukhei imagines saying, _You’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen and I have this intense urge to keep you alive because there are so few beautiful things left in this shithole of a world._ In reality he just shrugs.

Jaemin huffs out a sigh, and if Yukhei still breathed he’d be doing the same thing. “Alright, well. Let’s try something else.” He motions to the seat across the aisle with the blade of his knife. “Sit.” Yukhei does as he’s told, partially because he doesn’t want Jaemin to hate him but also he’d probably do anything Jaemin asked anyway, and turns to stretch his long legs awkwardly into the space between their seats.  “I’m gonna ask you questions, just answer yes or no, okay?”

 _Is he seriously asking me to play twenty questions? It’s the apocalypse, for fuck’s sake._ Yukhei gives a very uncoordinated thumbs up.

“Okay, first things first. Do you _have_ to eat people?”

 _Yeah, pretty boy’s a dumbass._ Yukhei nods.

"Do you like it?”

Yukhei shakes his head as fast as his atrophied muscles will allow. “No,” he says for emphasis. He hopes it properly conveys his internal turmoil over the whole borderline cannibalism thing.

Jaemin looks at him funny, and Yukhei can’t tell if he’s made the situation better or worse. Not that it could get much worse than the literal apocalypse, but whatever. Jaemin moves on. “Are you - do you still think like you used to?”

Yukhei doesn’t really know what that means, but he figures Jaemin’s asking if he’s still a conscious, reasonable person somewhere under all the moaning and general decomposition. Which he likes to think he is, so he nods.

“You just can’t talk?” Yukhei shakes his head, and Jaemin frowns. “I’ve heard you say words, though.”

Yukhei shrugs again. It’s not like he can explain it, either.

Jaemin tilts his head, and Yukhei definitely doesn’t think about how adorable it is. “Can you say sentences?”

Yukhei shakes his head. “W-words.”

Jaemin perks up at that. “Only words?” Yukhei nods. “Holy shit, that’s amazing. All this time we thought cor- _zombies_ couldn’t even think, much less talk.” He keeps mumbling to himself, but Yukhei more or less ignores it. He’s too busy watching Jaemin’s hands as they mess with his knife. Yukhei wonders if he’s ever actually used it.

“Do you sleep?” Jaemin asks eventually, once he’s done with his monologue about the particulars of zombie stigma.

“Sleep,” Yukhei repeats, because that’s one of the few words he’s had some practice saying. Hendery never wants to sleep, it drives Yukhei insane. 

“Damn, we didn’t know that either. Why do you have to sleep if you’re -” Jaemin cuts himself off, so Yukhei finishes for him.

“Dead.”

“Well, yeah.” Jaemin actually blushes, and Yukhei knows he’d be flatlining right now if he weren’t already dead as fuck. Maybe it’s a good thing he’s a zombie, for once. (Not that he’d ever admit to thinking that, because overall it’s still the worst.)

Yukhei shrugs again. It’s becoming a habit of his.

“I guess you wouldn’t know that either.” Yukhei shakes his head, and Jaemin lets out an exasperated sigh as he leans back against his seat. “God, this whole zombie apocalypse thing is the dumbest shit ever. Don’t you hate it?”

 _You have no fucking idea._ “Yes.”

“Me too,” Jaemin says, as if Yukhei couldn’t figure that out. He thinks maybe Jaemin just needed to say it out loud.

Jaemin looks sad then, face falling as his eyes go out of focus, and Yukhei wonders what he’s thinking about. Not that he’d ask even if he could, because he’s a compassionate person who understands boundaries and he’s never liked to push people to share anything they aren’t comfortable with. So he just sits there, staring blankly at Jaemin from where his long limbs are crammed into the seat across the aisle. And, oh shit, he’s being weird again, isn’t he?

“Stop staring at me.” _Way to go, Yukhei. You freaked him out._

If Yukhei’s muscles weren’t so corroded, he’d be facepalming right now. “S-sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Jaemin meets his eyes, and it feels like he’s staring straight into Yukhei’s soul. If zombies even have souls, that is. Yukhei isn’t sure how that works, and he really doesn’t want to, either. He’s having enough of an existential crisis as it is. “Shouldn’t we go to sleep? It’s late.”

Yukhei nods, because Jaemin’s right. They both had a stressful day, for very different reasons, and being dead really saps your stamina. Yukhei stands up as slowly as his erratic movements allow, but Jaemin still grabs the handle of his knife with way less subtlety than he thinks. Yukhei wishes he could roll his eyes because honestly, doesn’t Jaemin know that if he wanted to eat him, he would’ve done it a long time ago? Unless Jaemin just thinks he likes playing with his food. Which he doesn’t, by the way. He’s not a sadist.

He opens one of the overhead compartments, pulling a blanket out and draping it as gently as he can manage over Jaemin’s shoulders. Jaemin flinches, but once he realizes Yukhei is only trying to help his muscles visibly relax and he pulls the blanket tighter around his body. He may be wearing pants and thick boots, but his shirt is just a threadbare button up that offers basically no warmth. In Jaemin’s defense, he probably hadn’t been expecting to spend the night in a plane when he got dressed this morning. He probably didn’t have many options to choose from, either, but that’s beside the point.

“Good night, Yukhei,” he says as he turns to face the aisle (and the door). “Don’t try anything while I’m sleeping.” _Or what? You’ll kill me?_ “Or I’ll kill you.”

“Same,” Yukhei says suddenly, with way more ease than usual. He can feel his eyes widen before the word has even left his mouth, and Jaemin’s eyebrows shoot up only a moment later.

“Alright, smartass, neither one of us will kill each other. Truce?” He sticks his hand out of the blanket, and Yukhei takes it clumsily, shaking it with a jerk. Jaemin drops his hand and nods. “I’m still keeping my knife ready, though.” Yukhei just shrugs and walks to the cockpit, throwing himself into the pilot’s seat and falling asleep in record time. That night, he gets the best night’s sleep he’s had since he died.

When he wakes up in the morning, Jaemin’s gone. _Dumbass,_ Yukhei tries to telepathically chide him, _Why would you just walk into a literal hoard of zombies? It’s suicide and you know it._

He heaves out a sigh, which is weird since he doesn’t have any breath, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it because he hears a commotion near the next plane over. He drags himself out of his chair, shoving the door open and stumbling down onto the asphalt. He can hear several confused cries of “Eat?” along with indistinct shuffling and sniffing noises. He follows his nose, since Jaemin is pretty fucking easy to find in the middle of all this rot, and Yukhei can hear his frantic heartbeat even from meters away. He takes his time getting there, because if he rushes over to Jaemin the other zombies will catch on real quick, and it’s agonizing to say the least. His walking pace is always agonizing, actually, but especially now that he has a purpose for once in his afterlife.

Jaemin spots him when he’s still only halfway through the crowd of zombies, but once their eyes lock he sees Jaemin’s chest fall as he breathes out in relief. Which is only slightly ironic, considering Jaemin was saying just hours ago that he would kill Yukhei without hesitation if given the slightest reason to. And yeah Yukhei said the same thing, but that was absolute bullshit, so it doesn’t count.

He reaches Jaemin where he’s kneeling behind the wheel of the plane what feels like an eternity later, and crouches beside him. “Not safe,” he says, as a reminder.

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know that. And don’t you _dare_ say ‘I told you so,’ or I’ll kill you.” At this point, Jaemin knows Yukhei couldn’t say it if he wanted to, and Yukhei knows Jaemin won’t actually kill him (at least, not now with twenty other zombies watching), but Yukhei flashes an approximation of a smile that kind of just looks like he’s baring his teeth and Jaemin pokes Yukhei’s chest with the tip of his blade. “You’ve got shit in your teeth, gross.”

Yukhei frowns, because flossing is fairly low on his list of priorities right now or ever, but he doesn’t acknowledge that fact. “Go,” he says instead.

“Yeah, we need to go. Go where?” Jaemin cocks an eyebrow at him. “What do you even do all day here, anyway?”

And well, Yukhei can work with that. “Be d-dead,” he forces out, and Jaemin thinks it’s a snarky answer to his question but really Yukhei just wants Jaemin to stop acting so much like a human. It’s clearly not working for him. Yukhei sticks a finger in the open wound in his chest left behind from Jaemin’s bullet, and rubs some of his own blood across Jaemin’s cheek. It’s horribly coagulated so it smears onto his skin in chunks, but Yukhei makes it work. He drags his hand down Jaemin’s neck, too, for good measure, and then leans in to smell him. Yukhei nods. “Good.”

“That smells fucking awful,” Jaemin says with a wince.

“Dead,” is all Yukhei says back. It’s not his fault his blood’s been stagnant for over a year.

Jaemin ignores that. “What’s the plan?”

“Go,” Yukhei repeats, because that’s honestly the entirety of his plan at the moment. He’ll figure out something more detailed later, but right now they just really need to get away from all these hungry zombies.

“Right. Lead the way, I guess.”

Yukhei takes that for the olive branch it is, and pulls Jaemin up by his bicep so they’re both standing beneath the plane. “Be dead,” he reminds Jaemin, who nods somewhat hesitantly. _Here goes nothing. Don’t be a dumbass, Jaemin._ They step out from the shelter of the plane, facing the zombies gathered on the runway.

Jaemin immediately acts like a dumbass, because of fucking course his idea of acting dead is hobbling around with a fake limp and his arms out in front of him while he wails like a dying seal. Yukhei elbows him in the ribs. “Ow, what the fuck?” he hisses back, and Yukhei elbows him again.

“Too...much.” Yukhei gestures to himself, walking a little in front of Jaemin so he can see the way Yukhei moves. “Be d-dead.” _Seriously, you literally live in the zombie apocalypse. Why do you look like an extra from a B-rated horror film from the 80s?_

“Damn, okay, got it,” Jaemin says, before toning it down several notches. His limp is still a little exaggerated, and he’s definitely grunting more than necessary, but it works. The zombie blood smudged all over his face is probably contributing to the overall effect, too, but Yukhei will let him have this.

By some miracle, they manage to make it into the airport in record time (which still isn’t that quickly but it’s progress) and head down a terminal that Yukhei’s pretty sure no one ever goes in. There are a lot of stairs in this section of the airport, and stairs are hard on calcified muscles. “Sit,” he says once they’re reasonably concealed from the outside world.

Jaemin does, throwing himself onto the floor and leaning his head back against the wall. “Fuck, I’m hungry.”

Yukhei’s inclined to think that now isn’t exactly the best time to be worrying about a meal, but then he remembers that humans have to eat more than once a week. “Stay,” he says before turning to scavenge up some old chips or something.

“No way, fuck that,” Jaemin argues, grabbing Yukhei’s wrist to stop him in his tracks. A bit of his skin slips off under Jaemin’s touch, but they both ignore it. “You’re not leaving me here alone.”

 _Didn’t you just try to go off on your own, though?_ Yukhei tries to say with his eyes, but he doesn’t think Jaemin gets it. “F-fine.”

Jaemin beams up at him, dropping Yukhei’s arm and tossing his knife back and forth between his hands as they walk. Yukhei feels like they’re moving faster than usual again, but it’s probably wishful thinking. He doesn’t dwell on it.

They find a vending machine, which hasn’t been raided because the only people in this airport are zombies who don’t have much need for Snickers, but Jaemin’s eyes light up the second it comes into view. Yukhei kicks the glass in, mildly breaking his tibia in the process, but his left leg was always the bad one anyway. The bone sticks out of his shin, and it’s a shame it ripped through his jeans. He’s pretty sure he used to like these jeans before he died and started rotting with them.

Jaemin is totally unfazed by Yukhei’s slight wardrobe malfunction, grabbing whatever snacks he can carry. Yukhei taps him on the shoulder, shaking his head when Jaemin turns to look at him, and Jaemin honest to god pouts. “Can’t I just take this stuff?” he asks, holding up an armful of junk food.

“No,” Yukhei replies, and Jaemin sticks his bottom lip out even more. “T-too...much,” he says for the second time in less than an hour. _What are you gonna do with all that shit if a zombie tries to eat you? Smack it in the face with some Cheetos?_

“Fine. You’re no fun.” Jaemin shoves most of the food back into the vending machine in a haphazard pile. _The apocalypse is no fun,_ Yukhei thinks, but he just follows Jaemin over to a chair so he can eat his breakfast.

They sit there for a while, Jaemin stuffing his face with M&M’s by the handful, and Yukhei staring off into space since he has nothing better to do. Every now and then he’ll get up and walk toward the hallway, just to make sure no zombies are on their way over.

The third time he does it, Jaemin squints at him. “What are you doing?” he asks as he pops open a bag of Doritos. Yukhei really wishes Jaemin would make better dietary decisions, not that he’s one to talk.

Yukhei grunts noncommittally. “Not safe.”

Jaemin remains unbothered, tossing a chip into his mouth and crunching noisily. “Newsflash, Yukhei, the world isn’t safe.”

 _I’m a fucking zombie, I know the world is shit. I’m fighting a losing battle._ “Go.”

“You keep saying that, but where the fuck are we going?” Jaemin stands up anyway, tossing his trash into a garbage can against the wall despite the fact that it really doesn’t matter in the slightest whether he litters or not. Old habits die hard, maybe. Or maybe Jaemin just clings to any scrap of civility he can find.

“H-home,” Yukhei answers, because as much as he loves having Jaemin around, there’s no way he’d last another day here. Yukhei can only do so much, and suddenly converting hundreds of zombies into pacifists is definitely not within his skill set.

Jaemin stops mid-step, staring at Yukhei with a confused look on his face. “You’re taking me home?” Yukhei nods, and Jaemin closes the distance between them with a few quick strides. “Holy shit, I thought you were gonna keep me hostage here forever.” Which, rude. Yukhei wasn’t holding him _hostage,_ god. He saved Jaemin’s life, for fuck’s sake. He also put Jaemin in a lot of danger in the process, but it’s not like that’s out of the ordinary anyway. The apocalypse is rough.

“No,” he says simply, because he can’t rant about how dramatic Jaemin is being about the whole situation. He definitely does internally, though.

“You know,” Jaemin hums as Yukhei starts leading him toward the exit of the airport, “you’re not that bad, for a zombie.”

“You’re not that bad for a human.”

Yukhei and Jaemin both stop in their tracks, staring at each other with open mouths and wide eyes. “Holy _fuck,_ I thought you said you couldn’t talk!” Jaemin’s practically vibrating, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. Yukhei doesn’t know what to say. He’s fucking speechless, because the last time he said a sentence that long he’d just landed at Incheon and called his mom on the phone to let her know he was alive and well and his plane didn’t crash or anything. And, hold on. How does he remember that?

Jaemin’s still rambling, but Yukhei’s zoned out. Jaemin shakes his shoulder, careful not to jostle him too much so his body doesn’t fall apart even more. “Yukhei? Hey, are you even listening?”

“No,” Yukhei answers truthfully. Jaemin scoffs, but Yukhei just starts walking again.

Jaemin scurries to catch up to him, which is odd because Yukhei can’t move very fast. How did he get so far away that quickly? “I think we need to talk.”

“Can’t,” Yukhei says as he tosses a glance down at Jaemin.

“Bullshit,” Jaemin argues, rolling his eyes. “You just said an entire sentence to me like, two minutes ago. I think you just don’t want to.” He crosses his arms petulantly.

Yukhei sighs again, and continues to ignore the fact that doing so should be impossible. “I do want to.”

“See? You just did it again!” Jaemin elbows him in the hip. “Talk to me.”

And Yukhei doesn’t think this is a good idea, not by a long shot, but Jaemin’s giving him the cutest puppy dog eyes Yukhei’s ever seen and his track record for decision making isn’t all that great to begin with. “About what?” he asks, just to see if he can get the words out.

Jaemin doesn’t answer, something off to the right grabbing his attention instead. Yukhei follows his gaze, and realizes they’ve reached the main hall of the airport. Also known as the place every zombie who got turned here hangs out during the day. In other words, a shitshow waiting to happen.

“Follow me,” Yukhei whispers, begging any deity who will listen for this to go well. Jaemin, thankfully, remembers to act good and dead as they walk through the crowd, but weirdly enough it’s not Jaemin who draws the attention of the other zombies.

Hendery walks up to Yukhei, invading his personal space, smelling his neck with something like suspicion (not that it shows on his face, which is as blank as zombie faces usually are, but Yukhei can sense it nonetheless). Kun stands not too far behind him, watching, waiting. What he’s waiting for, Yukhei has no idea, and frankly he isn’t so sure he wants to find out.

Jaemin stays beside Yukhei, frozen from fear or adrenaline or whatever the fuck else courses through someone’s body when they’re looking the apocalypse in the face. Neither one of them move, because no matter what they do it’s not likely that it would end well for them. Even if they went for a peaceful exit, a cluster of zombies just inside the door is blocking their path. There’s no way they’d make it.

Jaemin looks like he’s about to cry again, though Yukhei isn’t certain what’s prompting it. Stress, fear, anger, exhaustion - a million things could be going through Jaemin’s mind right now, and Yukhei hates how much he wants to ask what he’s thinking. But Hendery is still close enough that Yukhei can count the broken capillaries in his bloodshot eyes, and Kun is still hovering in a way that activates Yukhei’s fight or flight response. More than it already is by the whole apocalypse thing, anyway.

Maybe Jaemin senses that, or maybe he just needs something to ground himself with, because he grabs Yukhei’s hand and squeezes it. The skin slips, but it’s only a small tear, and Jaemin only tightens his grip in response. The movement catches Kun’s eye, and a second later Hendery is frowning at Yukhei, too.

Hendery shifts to move toward Jaemin, but Yukhei instinctively positions himself in front of Jaemin, acting as a barrier between the two. He nudges Jaemin so he’s shielded even more by Yukhei’s body. Jaemin doesn’t let go of his hand.

They stand there like that, frozen, for what must surely be years, decades even. It’s driving Yukhei mad, so he blurts, “Hendery -” before realizing that Hendery is in fact a name he’s made up in his head for his best friend who he’s never said more than five words to. He clamps his mouth shut, partially because three syllables is a lot for a zombie, and also partially because-

“Who the fuck is Hendery?”

Surely, Yukhei is losing his mind. Maybe he’s delusional, or the rot has finally reached his brain, or something, because he swears he just heard Hendery speak an entire fucking sentence. Which is so, so impossible. Right?

“Holy fuck,” he hears Jaemin whisper behind him. Okay, so maybe it’s a shared hallucination. Is that a thing? If zombies are a thing, surely that’s a thing, too. “Answer him, dumbass,” Jaemin adds as he pokes Yukhei in the ribs.

“Hendery is...you,” he says intelligently. It’s been a long time since he’s had a conversation that consisted of more than awkward eye contact and indiscriminate grunting, okay? He’s trying, here, he really is.

Hendery takes a step back, eyes staying locked with Yukhei’s. “My name’s Kunhang.”

“Oh. Uh, my bad. Didn’t really know what to call you till now.” Yukhei offers a lopsided grin, and when the fuck was the last time he smiled? The last time he was _able_ to smile?

“It’s fine. I always called you Lucas in my head.”

“Yukhei,” he clarifies, and Hendery - no, wait, Kunhang - pulls him in for a hug.

“Not that this isn’t adorable, but what the actual, literal fuck is going on here?” Jaemin interjects, gripping Yukhei’s hand impossibly tighter.

And, well, Yukhei really wishes Jaemin hadn’t opened his mouth, because now every zombie in the goddamn airport is staring at him. “Jaemin -” he starts, but Kunhang cuts him off.

“Is he human, too?”

Yukhei and Jaemin just blink at him dumbly. “Too?” Yukhei repeats.

“You have a heartbeat,” is all Kunhang says, but it very nearly sends Yukhei into a conniption.

Jaemin also seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown. “That’s impossible, he’s a fucking zombie. Zombies are dead. Dead people don’t have heartbeats.” Yukhei nods in agreement, and he can’t ignore how much easier the movement is than he remembers it being. Then Kun moves suddenly, and Yukhei is about to drag Jaemin further behind him but Kun is faster than he should be, and suddenly he’s got Jaemin’s face in both his hands and holy fucking hell if he snaps Jaemin’s neck right in front of him Yukhei will actually-

Kun presses Jaemin’s face to Yukhei’s chest, right in the middle, over the bullet hole Jaemin himself put there. Yukhei cranes his neck to look down at Jaemin, and when their eyes meet, something flashes across Jaemin’s face that Yukhei can’t read. He shoves back, and Kun drops his hands back to his sides. “Holy shit. You have a heartbeat.” Yukhei doesn’t know how to process that information, much less what to do with it, but he doesn’t get the chance anyway because Jaemin is already pressing his ear to Kun’s chest. “Wait, you do too, what the fuck?” He yanks on Kunhang’s arm, pulling him close enough to get a good listen at his chest. “Kunhang, so do you!”

“Jaemin -” Yukhei starts just as Kun says, “Stop doing that.” Kunhang just watches on in amusement, but he does eye the other zombies just in case. Jaemin stops, turning toward them, but he’s still holding his face close to a random zombie’s chest.

“Don’t manhandle Winwin,” Kun says, referring to the zombie Jaemin currently has trapped in his grip.

“Winwin? What the fuck, my name is Sicheng.”

Jaemin shushes him. “Yeah, we’ve been over this, you all made up names for each other because you couldn’t talk. Now shut up, I need to listen to your heart.” Surprisingly, Sicheng listens (or maybe he just wants to get this over with so Jaemin will leave him the fuck alone), and when Jaemin pulls back he yells, “Congratulations, you have a heartbeat!”

“Jaemin,” Yukhei calls when he sees movement from the other zombies in his peripheral vision. They're getting closer, and it's stressing him out. This entire ordeal is stressing him out. Jaemin’s stressing him out. Which is quickly becoming the norm, but still.

“Yeah?” Jaemin says as he leans against another zombie’s chest, and Yukhei can tell by the way his face lights up that he hears a heartbeat.

Yukhei doesn’t say anything, just gives him a pointed look and stretches out his hand. Jaemin gets the message, patting the zombie on the shoulder before walking back over to Yukhei and taking his hand again. They look at each other, then Kunhang, then Kun, then back at each other. Nobody moves, all clearly a little out of their depth. Or a lot out of their depth, really. It’s not every day zombies start...what is it they’re doing, exactly?

Jaemin must be a mind reader, because he says, “You’re healing yourselves. How is that possible?” And, well, it’s not, but here they are. Jaemin looks up at Yukhei. “You gotta take me home. We have to tell the others.”

“And get shot in the face?” Kun scoffs. And he’s right, that does sound like a horrible plan.

“They won’t shoot you in the face if you’re acting human,” Jaemin counters. “Which you are, weirdly.”

“It’s a bad idea,” Yukhei leans down to tell Jaemin quietly. “It’s suicide.”

“Well what are we gonna do, then? Something is clearly triggering the change, we have to figure out what it is.”

The realization hits Yukhei like a freight train. “It’s you,” he says to Jaemin.

They all stand there in stunned silence for a good minute before Kunhang speaks. “He’s right.”

Jaemin looks at him like he’s lost his fucking mind. “What? I didn’t even do anything.”

Yukhei shrugs. “You treated me like a person.” He pauses. “Sort of.”

“You think human interaction is the cure to the zombie apocalypse?” Jaemin asks incredulously. “It can’t be that simple.”

Kun shrugs now. “Maybe it is.”

“Either way, it can’t hurt,” Yukhei concedes.

Jaemin eyes him, and Yukhei can see the gears turning in his head. He squeezes Jaemin’s hand reassuringly, giving him a small smile. Kunhang and Kun both stare at their joined hands. “Are we sure it isn’t the power of love, or some shit?” Kunhang asks, giving their hands a pointed look.

“We’re not in _love,_ ” Jaemin says. “I mean yeah, he’s hot for a zombie, but I’ve known him for like, a day.” Yukhei thinks he might actually be blushing, and if the smirk Kunhang gives him is any indication, he’s totally right. Holy shit. “Plus, it wouldn’t be affecting all of you if it was love that’s doing it.”

“Yeah,” Yukhei says helpfully. God, he’s so useless.

Kun takes some initiative, because he’s a natural born leader, as Yukhei always suspected. And now that he’s only half-dead, his leadership skills are a lot more useful. “We need to find the humans. We need to see if this works.”

“Come with me,” Jaemin says, pulling Yukhei by the hand as he makes his way to the doors of the airport. Kun grunts something to the rest of the zombies as he and Kunhang follow behind them. Apparently he’s a zombie translator now. They listen though, most of the crowd trailing behind them at various speeds, depending on how dead they still are.

As they walk toward the city, Yukhei sneaks a glance at Jaemin. He looks so dazzling out here in the sunlight, golden rays reflecting off his skin, running a hand through his hair as the wind whips it into his eyes. Yukhei knows they haven’t known each other long, and it would be totally stupid to think they could fall in love, but Yukhei wishes anyway. It’s hard to meet guys in the apocalypse. Maybe Jaemin will settle for him.

“What are you staring at?” Jaemin says, and Yukhei curses himself for being weird again. He can’t even blame it on his dumb zombie face anymore, because he’s closer to being alive than dead at this point. Or at least, he feels like he is. The science behind it is all so fucked up, he has no idea how it works.

“You’re beautiful.” It feels so good to finally say it out loud.

Jaemin punches him lightly in the shoulder. “Is that why you saved my life?”

“At first, yeah. But I did start to like you as a person, too.” Yukhei can feel the smile creep onto his face, but he can’t stop it. He probably wouldn’t even if could; he missed smiling so, so much.

Jaemin smiles back, and Yukhei is pretty sure it lights up the entire world. “I like you as a person, too. But just for the record, I’m not gonna kiss you till you brush your teeth. And drown yourself in mouthwash.”

Yukhei laughs. Holy fuck, he actually laughs. He does it again, just because he can, and it’s been so long. “You want to kiss me?”

“I said you were hot, didn’t I?” Jaemin squeezes his hand. “And, I don’t know, you’re sweet. Maybe I liked hanging out with you. Plus, I do kind of owe you, since you saved my life even though I shot you.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Yukhei insists. “And you missed.”

A shit-eating grin finds its way onto Jaemin’s face. “I didn’t miss. Maybe I didn’t want you to die, either.”

Yukhei doesn’t have anything to say to that, and now isn’t really the time to unpack it, anyway. He just tightens his grip on Jaemin’s hand, intertwining their fingers as they walk toward the city that once terrified Yukhei. Whatever happens, they’ll get through this together. It’s worked for them so far.

The apocalypse is still a bitch, but it’s a lot easier with someone by your side.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm tempted to write more about their lives before they met because there was a lot of backstory stuff that i couldn't work into the plot here, but idk if that'll happen since i have quite a few wips already...let me know if that's something you'd wanna see?
> 
> or if you just wanna talk about yukmin and/or zombies hmu on [twitter](https://twitter.com/mullethyuck) or [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/mullethyuck) that's cool too


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